Do those pills really work?

I opened my email this morning to find that I was the lucky recipient of not one but seven spam emails from ‘Sammy in Tucson’ advising me that in a mere “fiive” days I could grow 2-5 inches. Of course, I immediately marked the emails as spam and carried on with my day. But then I got to thinking: Surely someone believes these scams, paying out a bunch of money for something they’ll never get (whether it be an actual product or the results they desire). Perhaps a science-based post is in order.

(Let me take a moment to note that I will be using terms such as “member”. I want to avoid this post simply being something that shows up in someone’s late-night personal-time searches.)

So first thing’s first: size. The average male member is usually measured between 5.1 and 5.7 inches when erect, depending upon the study. When men are self-measuring and/or reporting, the studies tend to have higher numbers, sometimes closing in on the 6.5 inch mark. In the research I’ve done for this post, I haven’t seen anything with a range that goes below 5 inches. However, I believe it is reasonable to suspect an average that does dip below that point: in all these studies, men can be asked to volunteer on a random basis, but that doesn’t mean the sample is truly random. It may be that men with larger members will volunteer more frequently and/or men with smaller members shy away from adding to the statistics. Though this may be one view to counter that speculation:

xkcd

For those interested, the extremes range from over 13 inches to well under 1 inch, with anything under 3 inches being deemed a micromember (remember, “member” is a substitute word here). Also, here’s a non-scientific site designed to visualize comparisons, NSFW.

So now the question is, whether 4 inches, 6 inches, 13 inches, or whatever, do the pills from Sammy in Tucson really work? The short answer: no. The longer answer is, there really isn’t a good biological reason why they would work. Let me explain.

The male member is composed of different types of erectile tissue, the most relevant of which is corpus cavernosum. It’s a sponge-like region that fills with the majority of blood that brings a member from flaccid to erect. There isn’t a good reason why one should expect a chemical substance to be so specific as to target this type of tissue over other types. Hell, we have enough trouble keeping cancer treatments specific to the out-of-control cells that form tumors and kill people every day. What makes anyone rightly think that we’ve perfected a treatment that can target tissue and cells that will cause a male member to permanently increase in size?

Now, if that isn’t enough for you, consider this. Pretty much all the pills one sees on infomercials at 4 in the morning will have some sort of label indicating that the FDA hasn’t reviewed them. Moreover, there’s never any independent research that shows efficacy. And besides all that, take note of how these companies use phrases like “that certain part of a man” or talk about how their product will “increase confidence and performance”. They aren’t trying to avoid showing up in the wrong types of searches. It’s likely they’re just playing some technical legal dance.

So, no, you and/or your partner will not see an increase in member size thanks to any pill. There’s no good biological reason to think these products make a difference, and even if there was, there’s no data to back up such a hypothesis.

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